On 24th September 2007, the participant experienced a myocardial infarct and cardiac arrest requiring defibrillation three times before normal rhythm was restored (see Whyte et al., 2009). The participant indicated that detailing this account and seeking to publish its results was a goal he wished to achieve during the first few hours of recovery, hence his compliance with involvement in data collection. The process began with the participant providing states experienced at the key times as defined by the participant. Emotional states were assessed using a mixed-method approach. Retrospective assessments of emotions at key points were collected using the Brunel Mood States (Terry et al., 2003) which assesses anger, confusion, depression, fatigue, tension and vigour (McNair et al., 1971) and modified to include scales for calmness and happiness from the UWIST (Matthews et al., 1990). A combined measure of emotions was calculated by subtracting the sum of unpleasant emotions from the sum of pleasant emotions (Calmness + Happiness + Vigour) /3 - (Anger + Depression + Fatigue + Tension) /4. A positive score reflects pleasant emotional states and a minus score reflects unpleasant emotional states. Following this, the participant was interviewed to explore beliefs regarding the antecedents, the meaning of, and likely consequences of emotions in terms of cognition and behaviour. Results are depicted graphically in Figure 1 - 4">4. Figure 1 shows changes in pleasant emotions; Figure 2 shows changes in unpleasant emotions, and Figure 3 shows changes in total emotion disturbance. Figure 4 describes changes in thoughts that accompanying changes in emotions. As Figures 3 indicates, he reported an increase in unpleasant emotions in the period leading up until the heart attack. Interview data reveal he attributed increases in tension and anger in the months prior to the heart attack to frustration at not attaining fitness goals as quickly as expected. He reported feeling a sense of frustration at changes in his fitness below expectations. His knowledge of sports training is important to consider with interpreting this sense of frustration. Based on his professional knowledge of physiology and, accordingly, the volume and intensity of exercise he had set himself, he had specific expectations on the improvements in fitness which were not being met. Hence, in the absence of good reasons to explain his apparent lack of progress, he began to consider whether insufficient progress was linked to work-related or self-imposed pressures. It is worth emphasizing that he did not consider the possibility of impending cardiac problems. One week before the heart attack, he reported noticing feeling unpleasant emotions (see Figure 1 and 2">2). He recalled feeling generally angry along with a growing awareness that he had felt increasingly unwell for some time. He remembers attributing the cause of feeling unwell to a gastric problem, and importantly in terms of helping to explain his unpleasant emotional profile, one that did not appear to be improving (see Figures 1-3). Whilst recognising that he felt unwell, he perceived that these feelings were part of normal fluctuations in well- being and that his immune system would cope successfully eventually. He increased his focus on improving fitness and so began exercising more frequently and at a higher intensity to regulate his emotions. For example, on the day before the heart attack he noted that in the morning he completed a fast interval swim session covering 3600m. He notes feeling pleased with his performance. On the morning of the heart attack, at 6.20am, he started a sprint session on an exercise bike, a session he could not complete. He reported feeling unwell, more tired than expected and with a burning sensation in his chest. He indicated having to rest in the changing room, and the notion of having to consciously rest was unusual. At the time, his thoughts focused on a dual problem; a) a growing realisation that he might be seriously unwell, and b) disappointment of not completing the gym session. He indicated that he could not remember ever stopping a session early. The philosophy of not giving up is commonly enacted in his history of participating in sport and exercise. He was an experienced and regular exerciser who regularly engaged in repeated bouts of exercise at a reasonably high intensity, competing in karate, and achieving the established plan for each fitness session on a regular basis. On one level, he begins becoming aware that something might be wrong with his health, but on another level, he rationalised this thought using physiology knowledge. He concluded at the time that it could not be serious enough to require substantive treatment. After driving to work, he began to feel progressively unwell with increased chest pains and retrospectively feeling increasingly more anxious and fatigued (see Figure 3). At this point, he believed that such symptoms were attributable to indigestion. His next action of significance was to telephone a friend of over 15 years, a colleague (a fellow physiologist who worked with athletes across a range of fitness), who is also a training partner, and a cardiac specialist. After describing his symptoms and having sought assurances that these problems could be gastric in nature, he noticed feeling less tense and assured if symptoms were associated with a heart problem, his colleague would know. It is worth emphasising that he was beginning to consider the possibility that his symptoms could be stemming from a potential heart condition. He was cognisant of research findings showing males tend to under-report heart attack symptoms and so there are very often delays in receiving appropriate treatment (Perkins-Porras et al., 2006). It is interesting to note that his colleague still maintains that the symptoms presented, when taken with his medical history and no discernible risks of any heart condition, were unlikely to be indicative of having heart attack (see Whyte et al., 2009). At this point, his chest pain was increasing rapidly. His strategy was to try to ignore the pain and cope with intense unpleasant emotions. He hit himself repeatedly and with some force to change the focus of the pain. His reading of physiological research in which athletes seek to manage pain during training and competing provided a background for him to rationalize his behaviour. The sequence of events saw him seeking further medical advice for gastric problems, continuing to take associated medication, coupled with growing anxiety, depression, fatigue, and chest pains (see Figure 2 and 3">3). He eventually asked a work colleague, a female lecturer, to take him to Accident and Emergency (A & E) which she did so without questioning, and at this point his anxiety and chest pains were considerable, remaining so for the short trip to A & E. After explaining his symptoms at reception his emotional profile improved reporting to feel a sense of happiness, attributing this to a sense of optimism over the ‘fact’ that someone would deal with what he now perceived as a potentially serious health issue. Following his explanation, at A & E reception, events moved quickly, and he received rapid attention from a number of medical staff. Whilst this was clearly a serious medical condition, he records being aware of feeling a sense of relief following identification and the initiation of treatment of the cause of ill health. It is worth noting that despite being news of a serious condition, the diagnosis led to further improvements in pleasant emotions. However, he reports feeling confident that effective treatment was imminent, and began an informed discussion with medics. Shortly after this point, he went into cardiac arrest. He described that whilst being transported to an ambulance he felt an extreme emotional change. He describes it as: “I felt light headed and everything went black; an inky, black darkness then nothing. At first I felt calm as I became aware of subdued lighting somewhere …above me. But then I felt a very rapidly growing sense of panic and terror, of a need to ‘get there’….to the light. The desire to survive was overwhelming in its ferocity, frighteningly so. I felt like I was flailing. I was shouting, an incoherent, and to me completely inaudible, shout for help at the top of my lungs. It felt like I was trying to swim against a tide of treacle with an anchor tied to my ankles. But, at any cost I was going to get there.” Following this, he reports becoming aware of where he was, that is on a bed in a hospital room. His medical record shows that it had taken three attempts to bring him back to consciousness with a defibrillator. He had no awareness of the temporal nature of this process, and although it felt like a long time, he has rationalized this since, as being a spike in time. The language he used represents both its intensity and brevity. Emotional states in the ‘cath lab’ (operating theatre) and subsequent recovery are characterised by gradual improvement in pleasant emotions. A month post heart attack he estimates his mood had returned to normal. It should be noted that throughout this period, he was placed on medication and the act of taking this medicine serving as a reminder of his heart attack. In addition, a medical explanation for why the heart attack occurred remained elusive. He received speculative explanations, which given his medical knowledge he is able to discuss with medics. |